I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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