I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
