he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You ruined the universe
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
