Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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