Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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