Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
