Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
