I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
