i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize