Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
