the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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