He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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