If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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