Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sorry about my life...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
