it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
