I bet he comes in French.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
