I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
