I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
