just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
