I wanna bring you to show and tell
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
