My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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