So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.