It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.