I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
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She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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