was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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