I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
