Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize