i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
