I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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