People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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