If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
