I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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