Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
