Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize