Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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