I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
