What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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