VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
