All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
