i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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