The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
