The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize