I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
im about as happy as oj after his trial
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
