Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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