At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just sent this text using only my big toe
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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