If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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