found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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