Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
