its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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