This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
its not stalking. its research.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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