ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Semen is not good for contacts.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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