How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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