I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
