Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
