Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
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That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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