So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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