all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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