Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
