idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
