Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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